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Do you want to explore kinky play? No one is born knowing how to dive into kink and ensure that everyone involved has an enjoyable experience. We talk about kinks so often in our lives that we realized a guide was needed for those just beginning to explore them. If you're new to the idea of kinks but aren't sure where to start, this guide is here to help.
What is Kink?
Before we get started, let's clarify what kink actually means. Understanding what you're experiencing and how to talk about it with others is key to having a positive experience when exploring kink.
In sexual terms, kink involves engaging in non-traditional sexual behaviors, thoughts, or fantasies. The term stems from the concept of a "twist" in typical behavior, describing sexual activities that differ from what is typically considered traditional or mainstream.
Here are some common forms of kink:
BDSM
Possibly the most common kinky fantasy, BDSM includes a variety of actions and interactions, such as power dynamics (dominance/submission), impact play (like spanking), and being tied up or restrained.
Roleplay
Roleplay involves two or more people acting out different characters to bring a sexual fantasy to life, often with the aid of costumes and props. Sometimes, sex toys like a bunny tail butt plug can make the performance more lifelike.
Why Kink?
There are many reasons why people enjoy kink. Some people develop an interest in kink early in life because the excitement from childhood games evolves into sexual arousal as they grow older. For example, someone who enjoyed being "captured" in a game of cops and robbers or being the "patient" cared for by a "nurse" might grow up to enjoy bondage.
Others discover their passion for certain kinks as they explore their sexuality as adults. Acting out a kink can allow someone to experience feelings that are hard to access in everyday life, such as relinquishing control and taking on a submissive role.
Sharing a kinky experience with a partner or group can also enhance intimacy and deepen the connection between those involved. Why are you interested in a particular kink? Sharing what excites or intrigues you about your kinks is a great way to start the conversation and incorporate it into your next sexual experience.
Preparation
Start with what you already know you like.
Before diving into kink, be prepared! Don’t jump into kink before everyone feels aroused and comfortable. Use foreplay to gradually build up to the moment when you’ll explore kink. First, lay out a plan. Take some time to think and discuss with your partner(s) about everyone’s interests (what you each want to try), comfort levels (how far you’re willing to go), boundaries (what is absolutely off-limits), and safe words (words that can be used at any time to signal the need to stop).
You can also try a “Kink Compatibility Test”! This is a questionnaire designed to let you express all your sexual fantasies without limits. Answer a series of questions and scenarios with "yes," "no," or "maybe," and have your partner do the same. If your kinks match up, they will be visible at the end of your session.
Getting Kinky
Shop for Supplies
Explore various kinky toys and products. Here, we highly recommend interactive toys for G-Spot stimulation. These are great for beginners and are the perfect choice for those new to kink. Their compact appearance, powerful vibration functions, and user-friendly app control are all factors that can add a touch of excitement to your kinky play.
Experiment Alone
When trying something new, if possible, experiment alone first so you don’t have to worry about another person’s reaction.
Create a Safe Word
A safe word is a pre-agreed word or signal used to end an activity between a dominant and submissive. If you plan to explore kink with a partner, discussing safe words and expectations ensures everyone’s safety and enjoyment.
Some people choose to use "red" (stop), "yellow" (slow down), and "green" (continue) as safe words to guide their kinky experience. If you plan to use a gag or restrict your partner’s ability to speak, hand signals, blinking patterns, or grunts can be used to express your needs.
Try “Low Key” Kinks
Sensation play (tickling, scratching, warming or cooling sex toys, wax play) and light impact play (like spanking) are simple ways to explore your kinky side.
Keep Communicating
Remember to keep checking in with your partner(s)!
Post-Kink Care
After any kinky experience, remember to be kind to yourself and your partner(s). Provide physical care as needed, such as applying balm to impact spots, or simply cuddle. Review what you both enjoyed and what could be improved for next time. Fantasizing about the next step? Hope this guide helps!
