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Many women still feel a strong sense of shame when it comes to masturbation. This reminds me of a client I once had. She came to me for help with her low libido, which was putting a strain on her marriage. When I asked her if she had ever tried to explore her body, she almost immediately became uncomfortable. I’ve seen this reaction before, especially with women—the mere mention of the word “masturbation” causes them to tense up or shy away.
Why Does Self-Pleasure Feel So Shameful?
A lot of women think that even in the privacy of their own bedrooms, masturbating is something to feel guilty about. They worry that admitting they enjoy it makes them look “bad” or like they have no morals.
This shame often comes from a mix of misinformation and societal pressure. Take my client, for example—she thought her masturbation habits were somehow making her less sexually active, and felt guilty about it. I talk to a lot of women who barely understand their bodies. Some don’t even know the proper names for their genitals, let alone how they work. For example, many young women don’t realize how much pleasure stimulating their clitoris can give them—sometimes even more than normal sex.
How Lack of Knowledge Messes with Your Sex Life
Not knowing enough about your body can really affect your enjoyment of sex. It makes a lot of women feel uncomfortable with their needs. What’s the best way to change that? Learn how to reconnect with your body and discover what truly feels good for you.
I once watched a sex educator lead an activity that really stood out to me. She gave a group of women hand mirrors and told them to take a close look at their vulvas. For many of them, it was the first time they had ever taken a close look at their vulvas outside of their daily hygiene routine. They were very self-conscious about it and might even have felt embarrassed. But by taking a moment to stop and really look at their vulvas, these women began to appreciate and connect with that part of their bodies. It’s a very simple act, but it’s so powerful. I think every woman should try it, no matter what age.
Touch and See: The Next Step
After you've carefully observed your vulva, the next step is to explore it through touch. Once you know what your body looks like, it's time to learn how it feels. Many people think of masturbation as using their fingers or toys, but that's only part of the story. If you've never tried it, gently touching your inner thighs, labia, and clitoris can be a surprisingly sensual experience..
Finding the Right Techniques for You
There are lots of ways to explore self-pleasure, but if you’re new to it, a technique called "Orbiting" might be a good place to start. It’s all about clitoral stimulation and letting you figure out what feels good for you. As you try it, you’ll realize there’s no “right” way to please yourself. This technique lets you find the spots that are most sensitive for you. For example, if your clitoral hood isn’t super sensitive, you might need to apply more pressure directly on your clitoris. But if it is sensitive, you might find it more comfortable to avoid the most delicate areas. It’s all about discovering what works for you.
A Fun Option- G-Spot Vibrator Magic Flamingo
Another great tool for self-exploration is a G-spot vibrator. It is designed to hit that sensitive G-spot area inside your body, with a head that makes it easy to reach. Playing around with different vibration settings can help you figure out what really gets you going. It’s a great way to learn more about your body and discover new sensations.
Wrapping It Up
Therefore, being open to your desires and working to satisfy them is also a big step in exploring your sexual health. Knowing your body better means not only having better sex, but also letting go of the shame that often surrounds female sexual pleasure. Go for it!
